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Marriage and the Control War!



 
 
Within the marriage both parties give and receive in order to be successful. And this relationship is a process which will be built up for both spouses.
 
Marriage is a process in which both parties give and receive in order to be successful. You can not have a good marriage if one of you wants to have the whole control because, this is one of the reasons why people start fighting. When there are problems in the marriage it is because one of the spouses have the idea of the perfect marriage. It is difficult that two people have the same concept of the ideal relationship. So, because of this, it is extremely important to respect the other person's opinions.
 
Right here, the two personalities begin to fight. It is impossible to oblige the other to have the same idea of the perfect marriage because each one has different concepts about it. And also it is difficult that two people have the same concept of the ideal relationship.
 
The couple find themselves in insecurities every time that each one is continuously meeting conflict to their controlling efforts. They assume that the relationship will end if they are not in control and they begin to try to have an influence on the other party.
 
The discussion become worse and worse until you get to the point that you are dealing with regular explosions.
 
People are human, so no one is perfect, this is a real fact. If you love someone, you must love who they are, not who you would like they were. Understand that they are unique and probably very different from you, their personalities are likely to be different than yours. You have to understand that someone probably does not like your perosnality either. If you accept the idea that you cannot control someone's behaviour, you will find that you will be more happy and will live more peacefully, because you will have less discussions.
 
One situation in which many people reflect the desire to control the other people is when watching TV, all them want to put their finger on the button.
 
You cannot control every aspect of someone's personality, once you accept this you will find that you will see more happiness in everyday life. Accept your spouse for who they are... after all is that the person you first fell in love with.
 
 
Contributed by John Vibon, the owner of www.abcmarriage.com. ABC Marriage is a resource for marriage questions and concerns.
 
 
 

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